Research shows that men who experience intimate partner violence (IPV) are at risk of developing and living with poor physical and mental well-being, including broken bones, loss of appetite, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, and anxiety. Male victims remain an overlooked population because of gender normative culture that views men as strong, powerful, and incapable of being hurt by women. Hence, research and interventions over the years have focused primarily on female victims. This situation persists even though recent research suggests male victimization is a major public health concern. In Africa and Nigeria specifically, where there are resource limitations even for female victims, the situation is worse for male victims. Because of these circumstances, the few professionals available struggle to provide services tailored to male victims or are not properly trained/knowledgeable to provide such services. It is also because of these circumstances that most male victims are unaware of existing services and laws and have had to rely on their self-agency. To address this issue in research and practice, it is imperative that we prioritize how male victims cope with and navigate the victimization process, as well as how it affects their well-being. Additionally, we must advocate for their concerns to be included or made more visible in existing resources that address these issues. The purpose of this study was to understand how male victims cope and how this influences their well-being by using the emotion and problem-focused coping categories of Lazarus and Folkman. In addition to their reliance on the self-agency, a critical external setting for male victims is their social networks, including their families, pastors, friends, and neighbours. Also, societal resources, such as counselling services and the criminal justice system, need to be considered.

In terms of methodology, the study was heavily influenced by Corbin and Strauss’ grounded theory approach. A particular emphasis was placed on providing original insights into the actions, interactions, and social processes of male victims in order to understand their coping and well-being, as well as developing theory based on concepts that are poorly understood or studied. The study collected data by conducting interviews with male victims (18 years or older) who have been in abusive relationships for at least six months in Nigeria. A total of 35 interviews were conducted. The victims (n=20) were primarily recruited through Gnosis Help Initiative (GHI), while others (n=15) were recruited by posting fliers at strategic locations like barbershops and churches. Also, families and friends were asked to post soft copies of the fliers on their social media pages such as Facebook and Twitter. A majority of the victims (n=30) have been subjected to both physical and psychological abuse; five of these victims have also been subjected to sexual abuse, whereas others (n=5) have only been subjected to psychological abuse. From a post-positivist’s standpoint, data was analyzed using Corbin and Strauss’ grounded theory in order to develop a theory regarding ‘how male victims cope’. Four major categories of navigating self-agency and the coping process; the social network is important; delayed and lack of utilization of societal resources; and the scar lingers: navigating post-separation experience have been developed and conceptually sensitized based on literature review. NVivo 12 Pro qualitative software was used to manage the interview data.

The emergent model is ‘the control oxymoron and masculine tragedy’. It illustrates the paradox of two opposing scenarios involving the victim trying to manage and regulate the situation (‘in-control’) through the use of ‘violence resolution’ and ‘violence endurance’ strategies, but failing to do so (‘not-in-control’), ultimately leading to undesirable outcomes (‘masculine tragedy’). The primary reason for this tragedy is that ‘violence resolution’ and ‘violence endurance’ strategies target the symptom (abusive behaviour) rather than the underlying cause(s), which may include finances, past trauma, or personality deficiencies. Notably, when these strategies do not produce sustained positive change, the tragedy begins to manifest as persistent feelings of disappointment, sadness, depression, worry, and loss of appetite, in addition to the direct effects of physical and psychological abuse. Moreover, due to their reliance on self-agency, only a small number of victims seek help, particularly from social networks. Since social networks are so important in Nigeria, particularly the family and the pastors, they are often involved in cases in which victims do not seek help either as a result of observation or when the victim’s partner falsely accuses them. Although some of the strategies used by social networks to manage the situations comply with clinical best practices, they are not implemented in a way that ensures the sustainability of the intervention. Similar to the victims, they target the symptoms rather than the underlying causes. Furthermore, some social networks refuse to become involved, or they begin to maltreat the victim or blame the victim. As a result of the ineffectiveness of social networks and their inability to engender sustained positive change, victims feel isolated, disappointed, sad, and anxious. At this point, few victims consider seeking formal resources, but they do not know where to look or what to look for, and where they do, they do not have the financial means or feel safe to do so. In addition, those few who had encountered societal resources felt further victimized, humiliated, and frustrated. In the absence of sustained positive changes, victims eventually become fed-up and violence-inclined, setting the tone for the climax of the masculine tragedy. To resist, they use physical and verbal aggression (‘violence resistance’). It is in this situation that they may become abusers or wife-beaters. In addition, becoming violence-inclined only enhances the aggressive behaviour of their partners. As a result of their fear of fatal consequences, victims often choose to leave the relationship. Some of the victims were depressed, sad, and even suicidal because they had not intended to leave. Others felt relieved and liberated, but this was short-lived, especially for those who had to deal with child alienation and divorce issues. Additionally, the scars of their experiences caused victims to no longer believe in intimate relationships, to become abusers in their new relationships, exposing their new spouses to abuse. It should be noted that leaving also had a negative impact on the children and the abuser. According to the emerging theory, victims’ reliance on self-agency and social networks will only result in tragic outcomes. A comprehensive framework for preventing this tragedy has been developed that provides detailed recommendations to victims, social networks, practitioners, policymakers, and existing services.