決定面對之後——評勞麗麗《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》/ 李清美 The Aftermath of Confrontation—A review on Lo Lai Lai Natalie’s As Shards of Dawn Shot Though the Dark / Melody Qingmei Li

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「要見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比『背離』多一個視角。這過程 中見證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。」 籠罩著展廳的是熒光燈管的幽藍調子。展覽標題《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》反寫了《浮士德》中的 名句「黑暗孕育了光明，而光明卻背離黑暗；而標題的英文筆跡滲出醒目的光暈，連接勞麗麗這 次個展的三個空間：「黑暗盒子」「過渡地帶」「明亮領地」，對應著黑暗與光明之間的距離。 觀者遊走在光影變幻中，從新舊作品間捕捉人類個體視角與廣闊自然之間的連接。勞麗麗參與香 港本地有機耕種團體「生活館」近十年，這次個展是一個階段性總結。她與田野的關系從反思作 為觀念的自然，生長成日復一日的迂迴體察，由此消化而生的作品在不同時間節點上指向具體的 動植物、人與之相處的時間，以及人們在其中永無結論的自問自答。 影像從「黑暗盒子」穿過透明門簾，引誘觀者步入其中。與展覽同名的雙屏影像（《光明卻沒有 背離黑暗》，2023，p65-68）以幾個月前勞麗麗在香港八鄉清潭水塘帶領的群體夜行為基點，一 行人舉著手電筒在暗夜的田地與山間尋找活躍的生命。手電光束隨身體晃動，點亮草叢中、枯 枝間、圍網上靈活移動的忙碌身體。或觀賞或窺探的目光移開後，黑暗中的生命仍在繼續。如斑 駁牆面、水泥通道的城市視覺經驗蒙太奇穿插閃爍，而反反覆覆的波光粼粼，無論是陽光傾瀉的 水面亦或晶瑩通透的光斑，均稍縱即逝。雙屏影像相對，被觀看的枝葉、飛蟲、青蛙、壁虎等等 生命境況與觀看者的內心糾葛在兩屏間往覆出現，剪接跳躍。觀眾被放置於兩屏中間，直面這一 對話。 白噪音綿綿不絕，偶爾是蟬，是飛鳥，偶爾城市噪音。影像文本由女聲訴說，在觀看者的自白與 反思中徘徊。閃回的片段提示觀者，這裡的野外其實處於城市邊緣。影像與文本時而共鳴，時而 相悖，觀者隨剪輯者在抒情與懷疑間切換。勞麗麗的新作在探討探索自然或尋找其他生命視角這 一目標背後、難以消除的人類主體的矛盾，有時候明知「觀看」行為本身會被附加許多投射的情感， 但這依然比「無視」有更豐富理解的可能。觀眾坐在兩個投影中間，只能來回轉頭，彷彿是有意 為之的提醒：在選擇注視某個對象之後，觀者的背後，仍有未知在持續發生。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

透明門簾正對的「過渡地帶」牆面上，勞麗麗捕捉與人類作息時間相錯的其他生命的瞬間：一系 列黑白攝影上，僅有綻放的花朵被賦予色彩。她利用為黑白照片塗色的簡單勞作，點亮被人類經 驗忽視的生態智慧（《隱花色素 - 日落》，2023 ，p79）。黃昏綻開的絲瓜花、偷偷由下向上開 放的燈籠果，都通過隱花色素調節作息與授粉時機。勞麗麗在花朵開放的隱秘時間為其留下影像， 再為它們塗上顏色，將對他者生命機制的見證轉化成為肉體記憶，「知曉」延展為一個儀式。 如果說前兩個空間中勞麗麗通過對自然的見證，來省察思維定式，左邊一扇門通向的「明亮領地」 （p95-104）中一系列與花相關的攝影作品，則逐漸調轉兩者的關系。牽牛花（朝顏）反而成為勞 麗麗內在空間的見證，也是與母親、與病痛情感羈絆的象徵。藝術家特意等待時機，拍下花朵在 煙火散落中綻放的臉龐。牽牛花的綻放是其生物鐘上的一個生命時刻；模仿花朵綻放的煙花 則是人類社會為某時某刻賦予意義的遊戲。勞麗麗利用影像製造兩者相遇的時機，讓它們見 證彼此。舊電視上放映著名為《朝顏》的單頻錄像，背景女聲在冷靜抽離、戲謔調侃中不經 意地抒情。牆紙上的花、故鄉記憶的花，與花本身的形象糅雜在一起。 《光明卻沒有背離黑暗》中，文本、光影、圖像交錯編織，視角逐漸疊加，輕聲訴說著提醒：要 見證其他生命的歷程，雖然明知這一視角總會有局限，但總比「背離」多一個視角。這過程中見 證與被見證的，觀看與被觀看的，將持續融入彼此的時間。 

李清美是一位藝術家和寫作者，生活工作於香港。她於記憶與當下之間編輯轉譯，有些成文，有些線頭則織入豐富媒介之中，如圖像光影或物件雕塑。她視創作為日復一日的簡單耕作，以此抵抗失憶與失語的病毒蔓延，亦是為共鳴的瞬間埋下種子。自然與人造、肉體與思維、個體與系統中的臨界空間令她著迷。 * 本文首次以《決定面對之後——評勞麗麗“光明卻沒有背離黑暗”》為題，於 2023 年 12 月 13 日發表於《ArtReview 藝術世界》（ArtReview 中文版）微信公眾號，並刊登於《ArtReview 藝術世界》2024 年春季刊。文章已獲雜誌及作者授權翻譯及重印。

 

'……that bearing witness to the course of a life, of forms of life, is subject to distinct and insuperable limitations, but that this produces one more perspective than you would get by "turning your back" upon the darkness of the unknown. In this continuous process, the witness and the witnessed, the beholder and the beheld, are ensnared into the temporalities of one another, the rhythms of each blending and bleeding into that of the other.'

e exhibition hall is shrouded in the blue glow of fluorescent tubes. The title of the exhibition, As Shards 
of Dawn Shot Through the Dark , takes its cues from a famous line from Faust : 'The dark gives rise to the light, but the light remains shot through with shards of darkness'. The luminescent English title hangs like a halo, its light linking together the three spaces that comprise Lo Lai Lai Natalie's exhibition: the 'Black Box', the 'Liminal Zone' and the 'Luminous Territory', the space between them demarcating the distance between darkness and light. Walking amidst the permutations of light and shade, the viewers explore the imbrications between anthropocentric perspective and the vastness of nature between works old and new. Casting her gaze upon ten years of experience with the Hong Kong farming collective 'Sangwoodgoon', Lo Lai Lai Natalie makes a tentative attempt at making a resume of the last decade. Her relationship with the fields has evolved from detached contemplation of nature as a concept to continuous observation on an everyday basis, and the work that formed as a precipitation of this reflection formed from contact with specific animals and plants at precise moments in time, indicating junctures of a thinking that is without end and always taken up anew. 

Images pierce through the transparent curtain of the 'Black Box', enticing viewers to step inside. The two-panelled images that bear the same name of the exhibition (As Shards of Dawn Shot Through the Dark , 2023, p65-68) take as their impetus a night tour led Lo Lai Lai Natalie in Tsing Tam Reservoir, Pat Heung a few months ago, where the members of the tour made use of flashlights in their search for nocturnal life in the fields and mountains. The light of the beams sways with strolling bodies, illuminating scurrying, busy bodies among the fields, perched atop parched branches, weaving through the wire of fences. When the gaze no longer alights upon these denizens of the night, life continues in the darkness regardless. A montage of urban visual experiences follows, with the facades of speckled walls intercut with cement canals, and a repeated motif of shimmering bodies of water, whether this assumes the form of the surface of water kissed by the sun or glowing, transparent droplets, alludes to the evanescence of things. The images on the two screens face one another, and the branches, flying insects, amphibians, lizards and other forms of light upon which the gaze descends are caught in the mesh of the viewer's subjectivity, and this entanglement takes shape and form between the screens, dramatized by the cuts and jumps of the images, and the viewer is thrust between these two screens, witness to this dialogue. White ambient noise surrounds the viewer without cease, whether this is that of the locust, of birds in flight, or that of the city. The script accompanying the images is narrated by a female voice, weaving in and out of the circumlocutions of the viewer's internal monologues and trains of thought. The flickering scenes which unfold before the viewer remind them that the 'nature' found within them are actually on the fringes of the city proper. e script and the images sometimes resonate with one another, and sometimes are in discordance with one another, and the viewer is caught between the alternations of lyricism and ambivalence that beset the editor. Lo Lai Lai Natalie's work probes the difficulties and contradictions that the human subject faces in pushing against the borders of anthropocentrism in its examination of nature in a pursuit of understanding non-human forms of life. Well aware that the very act of 'viewing' is invariably tainted by attendant fantasies and projections, the work insists that this mediated awareness is still better than resignation, leaving these difficulties by the wayside altogether. Caught amidst the mesh of these complications, rich insights can still be reached. The audience sits in between these two projections and can only turn their heads to avert their attention to one screen or another, reminded repeatedly that when one chooses to attend to one image, something unknown is always taking place behind.  On the wall of the 'Liminal Zone' facing the transparent curtain, Lo Lai Lai Natalie has captured rhythms of life that are foreign to the temporality of the human: in a series of black and white photographs, only flowers in bloom have been given colour. By the simple gesture of applying colour to black and white photographs, she draws our attention to a domain of ecological knowledge often overlooked by human experience (The Circadian Clock: Sunset , 2023, p79). The loofah flowers that bloom at dusk and the 'lantern fruits' (golden berries) that surreptitiously creep upwards in bloom rely upon the vital rhythms of cryptochromes to regulate their pollination cycles. Lo Lai Lai Natalie captures this 'secret', occult time of blooming in images, applying colour to give it visual form, thereby transforming this form of witnessing the mechanisms of other forms of life into tangible visual memory, transposing 'knowledge' into the register of a ritual. If the first two spaces present an examination of Lo Lai Lai Natalie's reflection upon her mindset through bearing witness to nature, the door on the left which opens onto the 'Illuminated Territory' (p95-104) and its visual works related to the life of flowers enacts a gradual reversal of the priority between the human and nature. Here, the morning glory becomes a marker for Lo Lai Lai Natalie's inner space, a symbol for the bond between her and her mother through the anguish of illness and suffering. In these images, the artist deliberately waits for the opportune moment to capture the faces of flowers blooming amidst expiring fireworks. The blooming of the morning glory is like a paroxysmic pulsation of the biological metronome, a vital moment, and the fireworks that mimic the blooming of flowers are like a poetic game played by humanity to infuse a moment of life with vital meaning. Through the use of images, Lo Lai Lai Natalie fashions means by which these parallel phenomena can meet, allowing them to bear witness to one another. A single-channel video entitled 'Morning Glory' is shown on an old television set, the female voice in the background expressing emotions in a dispassionate, aloof but inadvertently playful fashion. Images of the flower ornamenting wallpaper and images derived from memories associated with ones hometown are interspersed and overlaid on top of images of the flower itself. roughout As Shards of Dawn Shot Through the Dark , text, light, shade and images are interlaced and interwoven with one another, with multiplicitous perspectives progressively superimposed, as though to subtly remind us, whispering, that bearing witness to the course of a life, of forms of life, is subject to distinct and insuperable limitations, but that this produces one more perspective than you would get by 'turning your back' upon the darkness of the unknown. In this continuous process, the witness and the witnessed, the beholder and the beheld, are ensnared into the temporalities of one another, the rhythms of each blending and bleeding into that of the other.

Melody Qingmei Li is an artist and writer based in Hong Kong. She constantly edits and translates threads of memories and the present, some of which grow into forms of writing while others are woven into various mediums including drawings, paintings, moving images, objects, and sculptures. She treats artistic practice as simple daily exercises to resist the spreading of amnesia and aphasia, and meanwhile to create possibilities for moments of resonance. She is interested in liminal spaces between the natural and the artificial, the body and the mind, and the individual and the system.  Nin Chan * This article was first published on 13 December 2023 under the title "After we decide to face each other——A review on Lo Lai Lai Natalie’s As Shards of Dawn Shots Through the Dark on ArtReview's WeChat public account. It was published in the Spring 2024 issue of ArtReview. The article has been translated and reprinted with the authorisation of the magazine and the writer.